I had already read the first edition of Sebastian’s book The Big Difference when I met him, almost ten years ago. I met him in a classroom, he was the trainer and I was a participant. I was immediately struck by a few things about him: his directness, his open mind, and his way of being and doing the trainer that went, even then, a bit off the rails, at least from those known to me up to that time. Then we became friends and then we had the opportunity to collaborate together.
Fifteen years later, the new edition of the book The Big Difference (Ed. Franco Angeli) is out, “more streamlined and current” as he called it. Of course I read it and, once again, I was struck by his somewhat outsider approach to training, personal growth and coaching, an approach with which I felt, and feel, totally aligned. It is not the usual motivator’s book that tells you about goals at all costs, about super heroes who if they want can…
But rather than dwell on what it is not, I wanted to explore with Sebastian what it is and what he wanted it to be.
I started from the preface in which Renzo Rosso, founder of Diesel and president of Only the Brave, “his lifelong boss,” talks about “5 practical principles that helped him find his way.”
Challenge The Rules – Be Curious – Be Fast – Be Stupid – Be Brave.
I asked Sebastian which of these principles belonged to him most; positing that by corporate culture, by a kind of “somatosensory bath” all five belong to him, he replied:
“BEING CURIOUS. I always have many doubts about my opinions. I have the belief that having doubts about my opinions married with curiosity allows me to hear different bells. This attitude has brought me luck. Not claiming to have the truth in your pocket opens up many more possibilities and opportunities.”
In the first chapter, the one where you talk about goals, you give the suggestion not to desire goals that you might regret. What was a goal you set for yourself that you regretted?
When I was young, my goal was to become an accountant, which I had absolutely no inclination for; maybe regret is a big word, but I had the ability to straighten out a branch that had grown crooked. I had relied more on the typical talk of my generation, making money, having a nice car, etc. than my intellectual honesty. Let’s say I repented in time.
Who has made a difference in your life?
“So many people who left important marks in my life: my teacher, my mother, my father, my philosophy professor, my boss. But also people who did not play a specific role in my path: in the book I tell about a boy who was a good ball player who one morning, in my desperation as a 12-year-old boy who only wanted to play ball in front of a flooded field after the night downpour, which was too huge for me to clean up by myself, put a broom in my hand and said – Start pushing out the water, it will take us a while, but by 10 o’clock we’ll play -; it was 7 a.m. After two hours he approached me and said – You’ll always be fine, because you do what you have to do, without arguing and without wasting time -. That sentence got me through many trials; that boy made a difference in my life.”
What is the big difference you want to make?
To make those who come in contact with me when they leave feel that this short or long encounter was meaningful. To leave a trace in a good, positive, concrete way. NOT fill the air with empty talk or pre-packaged formulas for happiness.
At one point you quote a Russian proverb that says -If you chase two rabbits you will catch none – . Which is the rabbit you are chasing?
“Aging well. Wisely. Understanding what I can and cannot change.”
This book, The Big Difference, for me basically expresses that healthy balance between dreaming, having a vision, providing tools for reflection, finding one’s direction, motivation, and setting goals, and the everyday problems of real life. Because as Sebastian writes in the book’s subtitle:
You can be smaller or bigger than your problems.
But to solve them you have to be bigger.
All without forcing, respecting what each person really is and wants to become, the moments when you feel like a lion and those when you first need a hand “to heal a broken wing.” Without recipes for happiness or success, but with a lot of food for thought; starting with direction, the search for meaning and being, while still focusing on doing so that these aspects are aligned with each other. Because it is true, using a phrase from the book:
Life is sometimes a playground, sometimes a village fair.
Sometimes you have to scramble, sometimes you have to stand in line and let it pass.
Whether it is the former or the latter case, the constant is Doing.
And, as a coach, I like that.
The Big Difference is a remake of a book that originated 15 years ago. Each year it has been reprinted, reaching up to 26 reprints. Evidently something in it must be good. Evidently it is one of those books that has made and continues to make the Big Difference.
Thank you Sebastiano Zanolli, your book, for fifteen years now, has been that meaningful encounter you had in mind. And it will continue to do so.
Thank you
Emanuela
https://www.facebook.com/SebastianoZanolliLGD/videos/344568376188240/
You may also be interested in
All articles
Loneliness in the Age of Communities
Mother Teresa called loneliness the most terrible poverty, associating it with the feeling of…
Doctor-patient relationship: the placebo effect of communication
I start with a quote from Prof. Fabrizio Benedetti, professor of neuroscience at the…
Feedback: when the sandwich becomes an omelet
How many times have you heard about how important feedback is? And how crucial…